it's sad to say, but..

family - the bane of my very existence.

and the first good dream i get after that long string of horrible ones is.. playing street fighter at amos' house.

it doesn't help that i woke up with my left eyebrow twitching. damn.

---

everything changed, but i never thought you would. daaaaamn.

goodnight world, peace and happiness upon all of you (:

ah, the endless complexities and intricacies of life.

you're lucky i only counted 4.

well.. 5. that would have been ugly.

---

watched "Gamer" on my psp (yes guys, GAME-r, get over it.). It's set in a world where, well, you play online simulation games. Except you're controlling real people. The only bit that caught me was this - "Some people pay to control, and some people pay to be controlled."

A life where someone makes the decisions for you? No tough calls, dude. No responsibilities. No stress. No worries. Everything is pretty much planned for you.

Is it sad, that this notion appeals to me?

On a side note, I despise the stereotyping of fat people being sexually depraved, piggily gluttonous.. and well shoot me if you want.. fat.

---



nightmares are back

well it's true, i miss you

dazzle 12 0 11
bara 17 4 8

rofl play too much alr ^.^

many things to thank God for, i'll just stick to amos and soccer for today :)

you got off lucky.

don't do that again :/

hur hur hur. i'm so going to love tomorrow.

i'm done with the angst, it's time to move on
you don't know what you've got till it's all gone

you. you go on and pretend everything's fucking fine.

i'll just..

nothing, and this is nothing.

"oh."

And there goes my hopes of DotA, and more importantly, rest. With the rest of my sanity. Down, down, down the fking abyss. Or shithole, if you like.

Life is good.

irresponsible bastard.

someone pls remind me y i wan go home early.

to rest?

that's a good one.

on a more optimistic note, this song is hilarious.

Preparing for a mini-sermon after waking up to bright flashes of my phone's screen due to late night sms :D glad i'm not only reading, but analyzing the Word of God as well ((:

Excite~

God speaks in really funny ways hahahahahaha xD being a Christian is fun :)

heh, just tired. i'll be fine tmr (:

pictures, pictures.

i should never have rummaged through my cupboard, there goes my study night.

we could have been.

but oh well, it's been a while, and i've moved on.

love is patient, love is kind, love is..

madness, one i'll bear.

fond memories, sweet nothings.

nothing.

lovesick.

we gonna save the world tonight~

SHM's new song is nice (:

if you haven't got an iota of understanding, please shush.

concern is all you've got, not what i want

not what i need

---

this was supposed to be a happy day.

Oh life.

Life.

Immanuel, always.

i hate how i hate you

because it burns, so fucking bad

You deserve all praise :)

You deserve all praise :)

AND HAHAHAHA I JUST SAW MY OLD POSTS YTD

their concerns seem so distant now :>

my saviour lives (: so much to share, so little time.

maybe i'll post tmr :)

happy~

probably going to be laughing my arse off at the appalling standard of english HAHA. maybe i'm already laughing.

and i don't know why

Everyone's a lil' down huh.

Ain't that just fkin' great.

Ain't know why I still be prayin', hot damn. Just so restless today. Probably gonna be laughing my arse off at these posts tmr when i'm a little bit saner.

lil' bit stronger.

i just know i'll be fking tired tmr.

won't be finishing my lit essay, won't be passing napfa, won't be awake during cell.

not looking forward to the day :/

---

today was pretty much fine. just like any other day. maybe that just makes it not fine, but whatever.

spent the morning slpin' instead of studying. well, gonna fail that math test anyway, why bother? studied the previous day (and nite) anw. and yup i guess when i took it i more or less knew it'd just be the same all over again.

spent break with the guys until good friend amos farted. facing me. less than 10 cm away.

shifted to girls table.

lit tutorial was okay. nothing new, except the central reality of pain. damn, we have ours too, just not as flashy sometimes.

missed math lect, lit ended late and i went to the washroom then i went to sleep. louis went for the lecture but ended up missing 40 out of 50 mins of the lecture, so i guess i don't really care much hur.

lit lecture was.. let's just say the slides provided were miniscule. i mean, i bloody love to read and write tiny, but c'mon that was downright hilarious.

GP was good. Mrs Chong awesome as usual (wah freak lah rili wish i handed in the stupid AQ), i got 8 for the previous AQ (along with almost everyone else o.o), ran through the compre in-class, didn't do too gd or bad.

mood: moody.
song: say my name by destiny child. no, destiny child, we don't even know your name. on the other hand, we do know yo mama - her name be Destiny ;P (the joke's a pure rip-off from nigahiga, jsyk.)

ah fk i'ma slpin' now. srsly no feeling stay up or slp zz. fkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk tired bt nt slpy. tmd. @!#%*Y#*()YG*(HV*()WE$HT(#@_%Y@)_!&$)

really can't stand the sight of you.

too damn beautiful.

urgh was feeling happy until i checked my email, mrs chong is angry and i guess its partially my fault. pfft handing in AQ first thing in the morning. screw tiredness lah it was freaking irresponsible, somemore its work for her, not say like other ppl. bzz sianz.

not that again.

God bless you, I'll be praying, like I have been, for you. For many others too, but more so for you today.

So once again, gbu, friend. Peace and calm descend upon your heart (:

spiritually high :) it's good to be like that once in a while

once i start praying i don't feel like doing homework anymore.

but yeah, we have an awesome God :)

through all circumstances, baby. let them come, we'll find a way through.

---

just wanna rest in your presence, your embrace.

=.=

sneezing like a boss too ): walao eh..

---

get well soon! :)

our wishes all

it's a little bit, funny
this feeling inside

the moment you realise you're insignificant, that there's more to life

not the first time, i wish i knew what was on your mind

Royally screwed like a boss rofl

and.

don't ever talk about my friend like that in front of me.

that's not something i'm going to forget.

dota with nick just made my day :)

and we're back! :D

finally come to terms that i can't stand feeders hur. behind the face of anonymity there is only impatience :>

going to sleep now hurrah. really can't be bothered about work or life in general anymore

and again i'm left contemplating why i'm staying up late again.

why i'm so filled with anger, why music plays upon the strings of my heart akin to that of a harp, why i still think i can finish that history essay.

why i'm such a teenager and rebellious and uncompromising and unwilling to sleep.

why i'm not content, with

and now, the guilt settles in.

Really can't do my term papers, but i'm so worried the teachers won't believe me. Just you like you wouldn't be lieve me if i told u i'm typing this wihile closing my eyes. Srsly, can't look at blocks of text without tearing. It's freaking ridiculous and the thought of it makes me want to cry. But i won't. There are better things to cry about :)

Today was a bloody ridiculous freaking boring downright dumb day coz i wasn't in school and i want o talk to kaitsi liyu amos berns nick daryl and oh so many people. Contrary to popular belief staying at home does not equate to rest. I wish it was. Haven't been ill this bad a for a frakin' long time. Fever subsided alr but cough and flu awesome as ever. Maybe even worse. Polyclinic useless doctor conveniently avoids all questions i ask and gives me condescending nods a fake smile like a freakin' barney dinasaur gaylord and i'm like wtfrk doctors are supposed to be nice kind compassionate and.. not you. I find out the polyclinic has registered me as a poly student so i haven't been getting student prices for medicine and consultations for like foreer. Tmd Pap You Watch Out Next Election I Vote Majority WiN and you going down~

trying to read managa the whole freaking day but it's failing coz if ichigo doesn't kill the opponent in twenty pages i'm probably going to die first from staring at the computer screen. and urgh i bet mr kwok won't understand that i can't freaking do a his freaking term paper and i even actually tried to look at his notes and rummage through my brain and actually almost complete it but i'm more than half asleep all the time and i'm seriously damn freaking tiered the whole time and i can't bloodydo work. I love run on sentences.

Missed nick's birthday twice already, both last year and today. Guess hat makes mea bad friend, that i din't even bother tryingto go down. Damn, i do feel fked up. But whateve dude, happy birthdya, i've been there on two occasions to try and celebrate your bday, both of which i left early coz of my parents. Damn, i do feel damn fked up.

I'm going to tell all of you that i'm gonna screw work and go to sleep while desperately trying to finish my fking reflections for the bloody RD that all of our students deserve, so there. GOodnite folks, glad you actually bothered reading through waht really can only be considered as a rat. Wait. A rant. Yup, that's right. Rnaty doodle couldn't pay his rent, so he bent for the tent and in it went. Oh dear lord what the shit HAHAHAHAHOIQ:HFl;anglbi;ornb;JIOBNAONNIjigbo;eio;bn ieonbnbaifondg brb sleep.

and on other news, what exactly did that retard do in class again?

when breathing takes an effort it also takes on an unnatural feel.

and once again, left awestruck by God and how He works on, and works with us. Even in the worst of times.. He is there :)

i'm not a good testimony. haven't been for a while.

i feel so fake on fb and twitter rofl rofl. sighz, my cough really isn't gonna go away is it. kinda miss sch, interacting with friends and shit. i know i'm ill when i can't look at the screen for more than 5 minutes without crying.

well, on to happier news. the tv program at the polyclinic is teaching me how to use sarongs as a defensive weapon, i find out that BB See from the noose is on twitter, and my history essays are untouched. that's right, happier news. you'd think given the ridiculous five (including tmr) day break i would have more than done my work, but no. fever ain't like that. cough ain't like that. running to the toilet tearing sneezing dying every now and then ain't giving me time to do work. can't take medication without being drowsy, can't wake up feeling better, can't live. i really miss sch. or rather, i really miss friends. stuck at home, and it ain't fun. i mean, i know i'm sick when i can't play DotA properly. Daim, that sucks.

i wish you'd send me smses asking if i'm fine, it makes me feel as though you care less about me than them. and honestly speaking, i wish that isn't the case. i ♥ those who express their care very much, but i wish you'd show more concern. heh, but things have changed, haven't they? (:

waking up with a heavier head after each period of rest. it's been five bzz.

confused by you ):

It's amazing how i've tonnes of awesome things to post about, but my parents spoil my mood the moment i get home.

Sometimes i wonder why i bother trying to make things right.

just kinda realise you always kinda make or break my day. gotta start giving control over my life to God, not you :)

for all that's happening i'm still a little down inside. this will pass, must pass.

so much for bday + election hype, Jesus is still the only one keeping me walking.

(:

heartbroken, truly.

The stars shone in grandeur across the inky night sky, illuminating a miniscule forest cover. There, lay a boy by the name of Hook. Surrounded by overshadowing oaks, with Sabrina secure in his arms. Sabrina refused to let him go. Young love, defined by its ridiculous tenacity of will, only ever leaves its victims broken. This story is officially over LIKE A BOSS coz i'm getting incoherent budda budda boom >:

Right, i'd say that was a jolly good attempt at emo fic fail. Might as well write about today while i'm in the mood.

Well..

It was fucking awesome! Ya'know why? It's motherf- History Day!

Admittably, ms ng's lesson was gd, as usual. I nvr cease to be amazed by how she can teach new stuff every bloody lesson, now there's a stellar example of a teacher. Probably gonna be using all the source based skills she teaches in her classes and apply them in Big E's lessons, which already are useless, and beyond mediocre in comparison.

Not gonna rant on in that line of thought though, coz like i said, today was fuckin' awesome! Somebody had a shot too many, probably downed a pill or two as well. Can't even begin to express what the lect and tutorial was like. Gonna try anyway heh.

Lecture! Let's run through the notes as if my students students can't read. Hell yeah i'm frkin' awesome. Darn funny too, now that i'm at it. I shall point out specific students who aren't paying attention to me - how can they?! my slides are so comprehensive it's almost as though they're exactly the same as my notes that cost $81! Hooray for being useful, and GREEN.

Meh, ttly no mood to slam or kwote anymore. Freaking sick of life, but i know this will pass. As always.

ugh can't stand losing DotA games coz of my team bzzzzzzz

12 6 21..

As I pray, and wait upon the Lord
I know your grace and now i am restored

As i think of all you've done for me
A mystery of your love

Who walked upon the sea?
Who lived to die for me?

You, Lord
You, Lord
You Are Lord

As I look upon who I am changed
Though I fail Your faithful love remains

As I sing and worship you found again
No Words Describe Your Love

Who watches over me?
Who's love has covered me?

You, Lord
You, Lord
You Are Lord

Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Almighty One
There is none like you

There is none like you

No fucking thing going any fucking way i fucking want it to fucking be.

♥ cell group :)

free ramen at ajisen + free giant earthquake (ie. adrian paid) + cell members = happiness ttm! veh long neh so happy alr :)))